Skinny Love- Birdy 1/19/14

  Guys, I don't even know even more. I'm losing the people I care about most. I don't know what to do to get them back. I mean.. a guy I was in love with doesn't hardly talk to me. Meghan treats me like shit half the time. Alex barely talks to me anymore. i just... i dont know what to do. sorry this one is so short. more next time i guess.


~Invisible Girl

Not Sure What To Do 12/26/13

  So, I've been debating showing my mom this blog. I mean, it would make things easier if she knew all this. But, I also don't know how she would react to it all. To me sharing all of this personal stuff with people. To me not actually telling her about all of this stuff in my life. She doesn't know about me and the senior Michael. Or about how i feel like talking, or writing about what happened when I was younger. I'm just unsure of what to do about this.

sorry i just needed to get that out.


~Invisible Girl

*Warning* Very Depressing but True story ahead!! 12/26/13

  As many of you know from my previous post's, I was physically abused as a child. Well, recently I have been having dreams about it. That hasn't happened since last year. I have no idea why it is starting again. Now, theres one thing that I haven't told anyone. Last year, I attempted suicide because of this. If it wasn't for my mom getting off early, I would be dead. I hope I don't get pushed to that point again. If I do. Well, Then it's over I guess. But, I can't help but want that feeling. The numbness. No pain. No pleasure. Just numb. I used to crave that feeling. Sometimes, I still do. It's the feeling I get when I cut myself. I feel the pain. The pain I know I deserve to feel. Once it's gone, the numb sets in. It's overpowering and horrible. But I feel that I deserve it.


                           ...Maybe I do.



~Invisible Girl

F You- Cee Lo Green 12/26/13

  I love Meghan. She's my best friend. But seriously, sometimes I wanna kick her in the face. Like, I'm over at her house and this is the second time she has left me by myself in her room to go fuck with her boyfriend. Would you not be pissed off too? I'm pissed the fuck off right now. And you can tell because I usually don't swear. I'm so fucking done with her and her shit. If I knew he was going to be here, I wouldn't have come. I would have fucking stayed home. Again, please excuse my french. It's just, obviously she doesn't care enough about me to actually hang out with me when I'm here. I swear she's just using me as an excuse for her mom to leave her alone. When I'm here, her mom goes to bed earlier and that just means that Meghan can go spend the whole fucking night with Chase. I'm seriously done. What would you do? And Chase had the nerve to call me a 'cock block'. Wow. Fuck you. I'm done. I give up.

  One second, I want to just ignore it and move the fuck on. The next, I want to walk in the room, text my mom and have her come get me, and be done. And I would, if she wasn't my best friend. Maybe I should just let her mom know whats going on. I wonder how she would feel about that. I mean, Meghan is so caught up in her own shit that she cant pull her head out of her ass long enough to know that she's losing the people who she 'cares' about the most. She's so conceded and I honestly don't know how she got this way. Neither one of her brothers are that way and her mom is one of the sweetest ladies I know. So, I don't know when it clicked in her head that treating people this way is ok. Because its fucking not. You can't treat people like this and expect them to treat you like you're a fucking princess. For the rest of the night she's getting the fucking cold shoulder. I fucking give up. I'm done with her and her shit. Fuck you too Meghan.

*again i would like to apologize for my language. I'm just really pissed off.*

~Invisible Girl

Rock and Roll~Avril Lavigne 12/25/13

  So, it will be a new year soon and I think it's about time for me to re-invent myself. Now, I'm pulling out the black eyeliner, red lipstick, and combat boots. It's time for a change. It's time; for a new me. I'm done always being the good girl I'm always expected o be. It's time for me to become my edgy rock and roll self. The girl I was always to scared to be. The girl no one knows I really want to be. It's time to be me.

~Invisible Girl


P.S (if you celebrate) MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! <3

Writers block!!! 12/22/13

  So, I have writers block. I can't seem to find inspiration. Could it be I'm losing my feel for writing? Or that I never had it. I mean, writing used to be something I loved to do. But now, it feels like more of a job than anything else. I mean, I know its not. But as more and more people read my stuff, the more I want to keep writing. Even though sometimes I feel like I annoy you guys with my sappy stories about a guy or my friends. So yea, I know you guys can't tell but I'm kind of rambling since I don't know what to actually write about. Maybe leave a comment giving me a topic or two? It's not like I actually have a life so I'll end up reading and writing all of them.

  Writing isn't actually my job. I'm hoping that if I keep this up long enough, that eventually, it will be. Kind of like you-tubers get paid to make two videos a week sometimes 3. Something like that. Hopefully it will. I really like writing.

  Until you guys start sending me topics/things to write about, I'm just going to look up some topics on the internet and hope I find something interesting. If not? Oh well.

heres some ways you can reach/contact me:
KIK: @Pretty_Gurl_Swaggy
FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/mackenzie313
TWITTER: @Kay4619
EMAIL: sandlinmackenzie@yahoo.com

SEND THEM IN!
~Invisible Girl

My Poem..? 12/21/13

  So, I've been going through a lot of feelings since Dalton passed. And I've recently written a poem expressing how I feel.

  Living in grief isn't easy to  cope.

  Lost in my sorrow; losing all kinds of hope.

  Trying to maintain my so called happy smile.

  It's hard when you haven't slept in awhile. 

  I can not explain exactly how I feel,

  The pain is so unbearable; and all so real.

  I'm not ready to describe a pain like this,

  Best believe, it's something you can't dismiss.

It's easier said to overcome the grief,

but when you go through it, You'll know it's not brief.

Living in torment and pretending for so long.

Trying to maintain yourself to stay strong.

It isn't easy to do when you're falling apart.

It feels like I'm losing it with this broken heart.

I pray everyday for strength and peace,

it will take some time for my pain to cease.

As I wipe my tears from my eyes everyday,

I'll regain my strength ad start a new day. 

So, yea. That's my poem for Dalton. I love you. <3

~Invisible Girl