As many of you know from my previous post's, I was physically abused as a child. Well, recently I have been having dreams about it. That hasn't happened since last year. I have no idea why it is starting again. Now, theres one thing that I haven't told anyone. Last year, I attempted suicide because of this. If it wasn't for my mom getting off early, I would be dead. I hope I don't get pushed to that point again. If I do. Well, Then it's over I guess. But, I can't help but want that feeling. The numbness. No pain. No pleasure. Just numb. I used to crave that feeling. Sometimes, I still do. It's the feeling I get when I cut myself. I feel the pain. The pain I know I deserve to feel. Once it's gone, the numb sets in. It's overpowering and horrible. But I feel that I deserve it.
...Maybe I do.
~Invisible Girl
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